You left when we were little. You left us because you said you were done. You couldn’t handle it… the responsibility. You left us with no understanding of why you had gone. I know you care, but for many years it didn’t seem like it, because if you had cared enough, you wouldn’t have left in the first place. You left me, you left us heart broken and lost. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t know what this had meant. All because you didn’t want to deal with this. I don’t want to say I hate you, but it’s real close to it. You’re my dad I’ll always love you, but not the way you chose to live your life. My brother doesn’t know what really happened. He loves you so much, but if only he knew the truth, if only he could see what you’re doing, how you’re living and understand it’s not okay. You say I don’t care, and maybe it’s true. I don’t care about you as much as I used to. I used to be sad because you are my dad and I didn’t want to live without you. But now I’m all grown up and I don’t need you as much. But my brother needs you, but if you do what you wanna do, then you may lose your chance and he may lose the chance of seeing you. You hurt us all and sometimes I wish this had never happened. It’s been 9 years, but it still feels like a day ago, when I saw you leave me, leave mom, leave him. Maybe it was for the best because I wanted mom to be happy and all you did was cause problems. You still do. But you should stop. I wish you really knew how I felt, but I always have to pretend because I would never want to hurt your feelings, like you’ve hurt mine. But I hate who you’ve become, and when I see you, I don’t feel like I’m with my dad, I feel like you’re a stranger… someone I should leave in my past.

Advertisements