i just wanna do what i want. i want to go out and explore. i want to go out and have fun. i want to live. i want to take risks. i want to do so many things but i can’t. i always have people telling me what to do, saying i can’t do this, i can’t do that, i can’t go here, i can’t go there. people always asking where i’m at, worrying about me, and not letting me do things because of stuff they’ve heard happen. i know they are trying to protect me, but how am i going to know if i can make it in this world if they keep treating me like a child. i’m not five anymore, i’m eighteen. these are supposed to be my teen years before i graduate and jump into the real world with more responsibilities. i don’t want to live my life scared of everything. i just want to make my own decisions without having to ask. it’s so hard to plan every little thing. i want to be able to just get in the car and drive where i want, and go out last minute. it doesn’t feel like i’m living if i have to stop and plan every single thing i want to do. i just want to go with the flow for once. do things differently.

i want to be out ’til three in the morning, drive around late at night, watch the stars, go adventure, hop on a plane, jump in the freezing water at night with friends, and act stupid… well not so stupid, but point is, i just want to live… live with no regrets not caring what people think because the only thing that really matters is, if i am happy and living the life i want. i know there is a price to pay, especially since i’m getting older now and have responsibilities i have to take care of. i know i’m still young and i can’t do it all on my own and i may make mistakes, but that’s a part of living and learning. how will i grow if i don’t try and experience new things? i want to take chances even if the outcome isn’t what i wanted it to be. i know it’s not all up to me at this age, but i don’t want to look back and regret the things i didn’t do when i had the chance. once i grow i’ll get busier and busier and maybe people i’m friends with now, won’t be in my life anymore. life happens, people change, but i gotta take advantage of what i got before it’s gone. i want to make the most of it all, with the people in my life right now. i want to be able to look back at pictures and remember all of the memories i made with the people that meant the most to me at different times throughout my life. i want to live, i want to love, i want to laugh as much as i can. i want my life to be MY life, lived the way i want. i need to take control, or i will never grow.