I just want to talk to you. Like old times… I see you and I think about how it all came to this; not talking and ignoring each other when we know every little thing about each other. Well… “knew” every little thing about each other. Now I have no idea what goes through your head, what you like, and who you surround yourself with now. It’s hard to see you and not be able to say hi. I hate it. I hate the feeling it gives me, making me nervous and sick to my stomach just wanting to disappear. But when I don’t see you, I miss you. I miss how close we used to be. Being with each other every day, pretty much talking 24/7. I miss how much you needed me. Texting and calling when you couldn’t sleep, driving home from basketball games together, doing little things together that meant the world to me. I didn’t care what we did when we hung out as long as I was with you… my bestfriend.
We don’t talk anymore. We really haven’t in a while. I was never mad about it, I guess just disappointed and sad that even after everything we had gone through, we couldn’t seem fix it. You were tired of trying and didn’t care enough anymore and I couldn’t force you to make things okay between us if they weren’t. I had to let go, but I still really haven’t been able to. I guess you let go for me. I took you for granted thinking we’d always be able to go back to normal after each fight. I should’ve treated you better. I tried, sometimes I still try and it just hurts me more knowing you don’t care. So I don’t know why I do it. Why do I put myself through this pain? I guess I still have a little hope that we’ll be friends again, someday.