I know I can’t erase my past. It’s not what I’m trying to do. But I am trying to move on from all of the shit I used to do. I guess the good that came out of this was you. But the bad that came out of this was also… losing you.
I regret all of the things I did to risk us. You were the most important thing in my life. And this is why I always ask myself… “why?” Why did I do what I did? Why did I let you push me away? Why didn’t I try harder to make you stay? Why did I lie? Why did I make you cry? Why, Why, Why… when all I wanted was you by my side.
You didn’t make it easy for me. You put me through hell. You were difficult but I didn’t care because I just wanted you. I was willing to do anything for you. So I tried, tried, and tried to get through every little or big fight, in order to keep you in my life.
I miss you. I let you down. I disappointed you. Now all you see me as are my mistakes and not who I used to be. I just want to be my old self again, but I can’t if you aren’t there to help me. I’m sorry. I wish I could take things back. I wish I could’ve done things differently between us. I wish we were still who we used to be.