imgres.jpgThey still bring you up. After a year of not being friends, you still seem to come up in conversation. Whether it’s to ask how you’re doing, where you’ve been, or to ask what happened to you… to us. It’s hard to talk about. I never know what to tell them. I usually just say that you’re doing fine or that I don’t know because we don’t talk much. Sometimes they mention your name when they see me getting close to someone else, because they don’t want things to turn out how they turned out with you.They want me to be careful. They don’t want anyone to hurt me like you did. I’m careful now. Because of you, I don’t allow myself to get too close because I’m afraid I’ll get pushed away. I don’t allow myself to put as much effort as I did with you, with anyone else.

Things are different now. It’s not easy though. You’ve made it harder for me to trust and let people into my life, and I wish I didn’t feel like that was the case. I’ve tried to not let the past control me and affect the way I think about people I am with. But it’s like I can’t escape from you. You’re in my past, but to other people you’re in their present and I will have to deal with hearing your name from people. It still hurts, but it has come to hurt less and less every time I hear them mention you.